Right is wrong and wrong is right and the left is all sinister: frankly it’s a nightmare

16Oct09

I am right handed. This – of course – means that most of the hard work is done by my right hand. Chopping, writing, texting, reaching, stroking etc. My left hand pretty much just lies around all day, unless I’m typing or maybe steadying something that my right hand is grafting away at. Chopping an onion, for example.

The worst of it is that despite – or indeed because of – all its efforts, my right hand usually looks like crap compared to my left. When I was at school and university, writing largely with pen rather than on a computer, I developed one of those hard lumps of skin on my middle right finger. Gross. And I usually had ink all over it.

But I am sure you’ve guessed where this is heading: my nails. What with the constant practise and all-round superiority, my right hand is very good at applying nail polish, which means that my left hand is always polished immaculately. In turn, said left hand is rubbish at it, and my right hand can look well dodgy sometimes. It’s a constant battle. Particularly given than my more-active right hand chips faster and more frequently.

PARIS_HILTON_IN_BED_333

It’s just so unfair! Poor right hand works so hard for so little reward and lefto slinks around looking well-tended to and doing very little. It truly is the Paris Hilton of my body.

Am I alone in this problem? Please tell me I’m not. I feel so alone.

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2 Responses to “Right is wrong and wrong is right and the left is all sinister: frankly it’s a nightmare”

  1. 1 jessicaruston

    Leftist 😦

  2. 2 Clare Bennett

    I used to practice writing with my left hand during History GCSE by repeatedly writing out the cast list of Twin Peaks (also good in challenging the memory) and this – plus having a left handed mother and grandmother) actually means I have no problem painting right with left. This has proved more useful for me than knowing stuff about Prussia / Arch Duke Ferdinand, etc.


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