THESE ARE INCREDIBLE FINGER NAILS!
But you need an awful lot to back it up: you need to be a world class singer, songwriter and dancer, with an ability to sing pitch perfect while being led through a crowd by a burly security guard, to make people cry with your interpretation of The Beautiful Ones; you need to have a backing band of super-cool women who can all play their instruments and dance at the same time as you; you need to be unerringly professional and unfailingly polite; you need to work hard, helping your government and inspiring children with the clear respect you have for your body.
Then, and only then, will I find your long red nails acceptable. Just thinking about it has made my hands go a bit like this.
Oh, and also, does anyone know where I can get this t-shirt?
Because I just loved Beyoncé at Glastonbury.
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