There is an occasion when long and bright need not mean Nail Horror Spatula Manicure of Doom and Distress.

When Long Red Nails Go Right

But you need an awful lot to back it up: you need to be a world class singer, songwriter and dancer, with an ability to sing pitch perfect while being led through a crowd by a burly security guard, to make people cry with your interpretation of The Beautiful Ones; you need to have a backing band of super-cool women who can all play their instruments and dance at the same time as you; you need to be unerringly professional and unfailingly polite; you need to work hard, helping your government and inspiring children with the clear respect you have for your body.

Then, and only then, will I find your long red nails acceptable. Just thinking about it has made my hands go a bit like this.

Oh, and also, does anyone know where I can get this t-shirt?

If you're wearing this then you can do whatever the hell you want with your nails

Because I just loved Beyoncé at Glastonbury.



  1. 1 Clare Bennett

    I WANT THAT T SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Beyoncé’s talons are not talons. They’re talents. *Adores*

  2. 2 Kathy

    In a different font, but a million colours, they are available from Skreened.

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